BEING TOLD HOW TO FEEL, HOW TO RESPOND
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Do-It-Yourself Tactics For Coping


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3.11 BEING TOLD HOW TO FEEL, HOW TO RESPOND -- SELF-HELP TACTICS FOR COPING WITH VERBAL ABUSE

== #11. How to cope with the other person telling you how to feel.

This is very bad because the person is not paying attention to your feelings and denying your feelings at the same time. No one can tell you how to feel! You do not have to act on your feelings; you may have conflicting feelings, but NEVER let anyone dictate how you should feel.

Personal Note: My 1st wife put me in double binds where I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't. Yet if I expressed my anger or frustration, she would say, "Oh please don't feel that way." This meant that besides being trapped, I could not say how I felt. It was a triple bind.


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