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4.08 MAKING THINGS UP, DEMANDING, RESISTANT, THREATS -- THIRTY-FOUR EXAMPLES OF ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR

==== Abusers often make things up.

They might say that they already agreed to something that they had not agreed to or say that they apologized for something that they never apologized for. They may say you did something that you never did. While it will make you look like a hard-nosed nit picking person, insist that they tell the truth, demand proof and don't allow these fictions into the discussion.

==== Abusers often expect instant compliance with their needs or wants; the implied threat is that otherwise they will abuse you.

Quick anger and insults often are the result of not giving abusers what they want immediately (see next entry). One sign of an abusive relationship is that the abuser has a quick and loud temper.

==== Abusers will be very resistant to doing what you want and give you a million reasons why they can't do that.

When you want something abusers always have something more important going on; they would "love to help you" but.... (see the previous entry)

==== Abusers often use threats.

In many cases you might be told, "It is my way or the highway." While this may be a hollow threat, it is often used as another tool in the abuser's tool box to get you to comply

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