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5.0 EIGHT RED FLAGS FOR NEW RELATIONSHIPS AND POSSIBLE DATE ABUSE

If your new love exhibits many of the following behaviors, be warned. Danger ahead. I am not recommending that you get out of the relationship but rather deal with the problems directly. If the two of you can resolve the problems, then the prognosis is good. If not, you should consider getting out. Remember abuse is about control, control, control. While all relationships involve giving up some of your freedom and helping out the other person, excessive and unequal control is very bad.

#1. Is Your Other Very Jealous?

This is the most important red flag; a jealous person by definition is controlling and will not give you personal space or respect your boundaries. Generally the prospects are not good.

#2. Does He/She Check Up On You?

Does the person call you on your cell phone a lot? Are you expected to check in often? Does your other need to know where you are all the time? Do you feel roped in a bit by the other person? This is a personal space, boundary and control issue. Deal with it; it will only get worse.

#3. Is Your Other A Giver Or A Taker?

Takers think short term, givers think long term. Ideally both of you should give and take about the same. If your other does more taking than giving, you should try to negotiate. As with most things in a new relationship, it will only get worse.

#4. Is The Relationship Equal?

Do you see your friends as much as the friends of your other? Do you do the things you like, as much as your other likes? Do you share chores equally? Do both of you do the driving? If it is unequal now, it will only get worse. Work on getting it equal early on.

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