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4.06 LIMITS, BOUNDARIES, TURNING TABLES, OPPOSITES -- THIRTY-FOUR EXAMPLES OF ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR

==== Abusers hate to have you set limits or boundaries.

If you attempt to set limits or boundaries, they will give you a million reasons why that is not possible. For example, instead of agreeing to help you when you need help, they will qualify it with a lot of 'if statements' (if they are not busy, if they are feeling well, etc.) so that when the time comes to ask for help, they always have a way out (see next entry below).

==== Abusers love to set limits and boundaries on you.

They will try to lock you into agreeing to do things for them with no if ands or buts (see above).

==== Abusers often turn tables.

If you say 'what I do is never good enough' you may find that the abuser says the same thing back to you a week later just to prove to you that you are also an abuser.

==== Abusers often say the opposite of what is happening.

You might be told that 'you have changed' when it is the abuser's behavior that has changed markedly.

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